I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize