The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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