kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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