oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
