Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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