Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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