So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize