And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
