we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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