I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
