If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
