Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
