Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize