Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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