New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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