you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
