We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
