I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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