it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Randomize
