he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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