My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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