I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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