i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
