Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
