# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
