Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
