It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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