dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
