Moan for me like Helen Keller
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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