Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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