I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
