i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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