just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
