Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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