I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
