are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
