Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
