youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
