You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
