My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
