yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
