We're facebook friends in real life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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