Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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