I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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