when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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