Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
