oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
