I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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