i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
