i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
