I need help removing her.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
