That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
