Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
