Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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