So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize