i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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