my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
