So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
