if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
