My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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