Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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