At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
