Whod you bang
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
