id be glad to
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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