i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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