I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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