quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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