do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
