Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
