I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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