i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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