Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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