I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
