I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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